Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
