Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize