I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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