his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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