I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
