An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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