Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
