so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
