apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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