she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
