I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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