i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I supernannyed him into submission
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
