He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
