Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize