That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
