im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
