No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
