Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
