yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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