i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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