from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You can't special order awesome
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
