After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
