SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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