You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
