i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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