dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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