Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
