I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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