Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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