she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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