i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize