highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
