can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
