I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
