so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
