Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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