dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize