it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
