Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Verdict: uncircumcised.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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