her vagine was all disorganized.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
