You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Less talking, more tequila
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
