Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
