What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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