We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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