you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
