and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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