Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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