You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
