normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
