I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
