my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
