I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
