dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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