oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
