I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
