Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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