I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
