Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Sober January is a disaster.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
