he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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