I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
