"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
