Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize