I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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