i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
