Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
