Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i drank out of a bidet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
