That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
