I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
