First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
