Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize