I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
